Where was I?
Oh, right... I was high! OK, I was IN high spirits, to be
more precise. I think I walked for around 7-8 hours that day. When I got back
to the hostel it was around 7pm... In that instant, I would sell my soul for a
hot shower. Luckily I did not have to go to such extremes... That would be a
really, really poor bargain but as we all know, it's hard to maintain perspective
in the heat of the moment. Plus, I am not quite sure who would even want to buy my
soul, it's a bit annoying and high maintenance - I would know.
But back to the point. I took a shower (in the cleanest hostel
shower room I've ever seen by the way - meaning I was not afraid to touch it)
and when I got back to my room I toppled on my bed, powerless. For 10
whole minutes I stared into space doing nothing. Then, revitalised, I jumped up
and crawled to the common area for dinner. People were already gathering up.
Dinner time in the hostel was one of my favourite parts of
the day (though I cannot think of a part that wasn't one of my favourite... it
was a damn good holiday, what can I say?). What I loved about it was that at
the beginning of the evening we all
started out as bunch of strangers... you might have known one or two people from
the night before... or there were some people who travelled in a group
(surprisingly not that many.... there was a lot of 'lone rangers' like me
though) but within an hour... or even minutes the whole scene was transformed
what seemed to be amusingly chaotic family gathering.
It always starts with an exchange of basic information like
your name, origin, occupation... reasons for travel, etc. Then, you fall in
deeper... share your travel mishaps... well, it's really up to you how far you go. Once in
while you experience what I call 'the instant click'... the moment you
meet a person and in a matter of
seconds... after just a few sentences,
you feel like you knew each other for years... you know each other because you
came feel and think in a very similar way despite the fact your life have been
completely different. Fascinating isn't it? So, without knowing it, you find
yourself in a room full of life stories instead of strangers.
What I found particularly interesting was that after people asked you why were you
here and for how long, the next questions was almost unmistakably: 'Where are you going next?'
I must confess it startled me at first. I was just on
holidays... or was I?
It startled me because I was not thinking in those terms...
I was not in that beautiful mindset of a wandering traveller! How infuriating!
Though it also made me happy... because all those people around me were
breathing life into the attitude of perpetual motion - expecting and accepting change. Perhaps it was because
they were young and on the road but I secretly wished it stayed with them their
whole life... I wished they would never take anything for granted...never take
the situation for definitive, unchangeable. That they would never slip into
this fatalistic outlook on life that is like sponger sucking on the roots of our
insecurities.
Life is change... nothing but constant change for the better
or for worse. Nothing lasts forever and everything... literally EVERYTHING can
be changed ( and I am not using 'literally' to emphasise my hypothetical
point.. I actually mean LITERALLY). However, this can be hard to realise,
especially if you live your life with your head down, never looking up. If you
don't look up... if you don't look around... if you don't go out there and see
for yourself that there is an infinite number of ways to live, to breath, to
love and none of them is the only correct or incorrect one. There are just
ways... life is to be experienced not judged.
I sincerely believe we do not live to follow without question, we live to
create... Create a whole world for ourselves, especially if what we want doesn't
seem to exist yet. Every time someone says I make irrational choices... perhaps
even wrong choices because apparently 'that
is not how it is done'... I smile to myself. Just because somebody else can't see the
reason behind it, it does not mean there is none. I do my 'irrational choices' precisely
because I want change.
Mr Einstein said it is stupid to keep doing the same thing
and expect different results... well, of course I got to do things slightly
differently then. I suppose, if you haven't been misunderstood at one point of
your life than you have never done
anything truly for yourself.
So remember, change is not impossible and absolutely nothing
is definitive... So people, stop pretending to be helpless victims of this
mean, mean world and live a little. World is not mean or cruel... those are
human 'qualities'. The world is just a mirror of our choices. If you don't like
what you see... it's not the world that needs changing.
Life is what you make it. Nothing more and nothing less.
It's so simple, but so easy to forget.
***
Barcelona turned out to be everything but a normal holiday.
I needed a little spiritual revival. I was very happy. I felt life... and the
raw, wild energy waking up and stirring up a tornado inside me.
I started asking myself again: Where am I going next?
I do not have an answer... but that doesn't matter... the answers will come when I'm
ready to hear them.
That night three different groups of wonderful people tried
to lure me out into the streets of Barcelona... I can proudly say I resisted, despite
being insanely tempted! My soul and body often get into conflict over
this... the soul would dance and talk and party all night long while body can
barely move... So, I decided (for the long-term benefit) one night in will do
me good.
I fell asleep listening to salsa...oh, and I dreamed of
dancing.
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